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I’m Better! Haha Twilight January 24, 2010

Posted by Carly in Uncategorized.

Hey guy!  Haha sorry for my freak out last post…

I’m better now!!  Haha I just thought I would make a quick post on the hilariousness of the Twilight movie…

  1. Charlie’s mustache.  ’nuff said.
  2. Eric has turned from a pimply chess player to a fun, possibly gay, asian kid.
  3. In the book the waitress was “pretty” and “flirted” with Eddykins.  In the movie…   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG  HER HAIR!!!  You get a better view of it in the movie but this is all I could find on the internet!  Its HILARIOUS!
  4. The special effects are laugh-out-loud terrible.  I mean, SERIOUSLY.  The only way they show “speed” in the movie is speeding things up and blurring them!  Its so stupid looking!  And when Eddykins jumps, he doesn’t slow down at the top like every other thing that jumps!  He just zooms around up and down in the air making little blurry lines without any regard to GRAVITY!
  5. When Eddy sparkles, it looks like he just sweated a lot and then stood in some light.  Also it kinda makes him look super hairy.  The special effects really suck!
  6. Best part of the movie:  Bella: “It’s like diamonds… you’re beautiful.”  Eddy: “Beautiful? This is the skin of a killer, Bella!”  HAHA OMG!  That is just stupid for two reasons!  #1: The SKIN of a killer?   That is like saying “These are the eyebrows of a vampire!” or “Beware my shins, for they are murderous!”.  And #2… you sparkle.  Sparkly skin = killer.  Seriously, Eddy thinks that his sparkly skin marks him as a killer of the worst kind.  HAHA
  7. Bella’s man voice.  When she starts yelling, her voice goes down a few octaves and she is like “NO EDWARD, DON’T LEAVE ME!” In a hilarious man voice! HA
  8. Jasper has maybe one or two lines.  For the majority of the movie, he looks in pain/self consious.  Much like he just farted and was like “did I just fart?  maybe if I just stand really stiff and still, no one will notice”  All in all, Jasper just looks hilariously stupid for the whole movie!
  9. Eddy and Bella staring into eachother’s souls while Eddy glitters and the camera spins awkwardly around them.  The cinemetography in this movie is cheesy and corny and terrible!  And it’s funny for that!
  10. Bella choking on her own tongue/breath in every line.  Kristin Stewart literally either can’t talk or went way overboard on the whole “Bella is an awkward person” thing.
  11. There are many more!  I will for sure add more 🙂

Okay!  I hope you found that funny!  But, the movie was better than the book in some ways…

  1. Bella’s human buds aren’t as boring as in the book.  Literally, in the book, whenever Bella is hanging out with a human, you fall asleep for a while and then wake up later in the book and go “What did I miss?  Oh, not much.”
  2. In the movie, the vampires wear baseball uniforms while they do the “American pasttime”.  It just adds to the LOLs
  3. We get to see a deer run for a while, and then see it jump and get caught by a vampire.  Lame hunting, yeah, but at least we get to see a bit!  Meyer doesn’t even describe a hunt in the book!
  4. The whole “cooking for Bella” thing was kinda cute.  Untill the bitc- I MEAN Rosalie started being a bit- I MEAN nasty person!
  5. The giant wall thing of graduation caps was kinda cool, too.  Except it was very dull.  Very dull indeed.  It seems that the Cullens just cannot go to a school that has a school color like red or yellow or gold.  It must all be varying shades of blue!
  6. This scene never happens! Bella never faints because of Eddy kissing her!  THANK GOD!
  7. Another scene that was left out… Edward constantly saying that he should leave while hugging Bella closer.  And then Bella saying something like “Don’t go!  I love you!  Nevermind that your only attraction to me is how I smell!  You’re pretty!”
  8. A quote that was left out: “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.  You are intoxicated by my very presence.”  Okay, that quote was unbearably cheesy even in text!  If it had been in the movie,  many people would have died because of a Mozzerella Overdose.
  9. The other vampires, James, Victoria, and Laurent, don’t just pop up out of nowhere like in the book.  Seriously, in the book Meyer is happily plodding along, writing romancey crap for pages and pages and then goes “Whoopsies! I forgot a plot!” and then sticks those three vamps in at the last minute.  In the movie, we get some poorly edited action involving the Three Muskateers and their human friends/food.
  10. We get to see a little clip of Bella falling down some stairs. epic.
  11. Instead of Bella passing out right before the epic vampire fight like in the book, we actually get to see Eddy and James throw eachother through some windows.  The one part that bugs me is when James has Eddy pinned up against a mirror or something and his holding him there by his neck with all his might.  Problem #1: Vampires don’t have to breath, yet Eddy is gasping for breath.  #2:  There is no show of tension in the muscles in James’s arm/hand, and Eddy’s neck does not look like anything is touching it.  #3:  James may have some gay feelings for Eddy, judging by the awkward neck stroking that James does with his thumb.  haha!
  12. Alice totally jumps James and breaks his neck from behind.  WOO ALICE!  You’re my fave!  But not in the movie.  I don’t like that actress. Whatever, she still breaks his neck.

Ummmmm yeah!  That’s my little HAHA TWILIGHT rant for the day!  If you criticize my opinion of Twilight, I will go to wherever you live and punch you and break your nose.  I would appreciate YOUR opinion, but if you say that I am completely wrong and should go rot in hell for what I just said about this masterpeice, then we have a problem. 

Ha!  Yay!  Love you all!  Thanks for reading!




1. ζÔ§Η - January 25, 2010

I cannot believe I actually read all that haha. You’ve really looked closely into the movie =D

2. Logan - Blinking Yo - January 30, 2010

Lol Yes you wrote a lot! Im not a twilight fan, actually I have never read / watched it. xD
Hey carley, i need some help with CSS :S I want to know how you edit the TABS on top of your site. I tried to google it but i wouldn’t find any relevant site 😀

3. Squishy133 - February 14, 2010

Ughh, the whole Twilight franchise is so overrated! I mean, I’ve seen the movies and read the books, but people don’t need to go so hyper about it! They were only ‘OK’.
But your post WAS pretty amusing. Haha.

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